Do you believe that there is always room in your heart for your first love?
If my heart was an apartment complex, I wouldn’t care if she never swung by or paid lease anymore, she’s still in the fcuking penthouse.
Why do you wake up so fcuking early all the time?
I really like mornings, I like the crispy nature of the air. I like running when no one is around, and the main reason I guess is getting a jump start on the day. Being productive whilst everyone is sleeping and having lunch when y’all are having breakfast…that’s based in my opinion.
What’s your favourite movie of the year (2011)?
Oh snap, X-Men First Class. I loved Fassbender’s portrayal of Magento, it really resonated with me. Plus Hugh Jackman’s cameo was Godlike. Runners up consist of Thor and Super 8.
Why do you wear ties/suits when you don’t need to?
In short: Michael Jordan. Allow me to elaborate, in an interview once Jordan once said that the reason he always wore suits prior and post games was because he wanted to be treated as a professional. It was about his image yes, but it was also about the impression he wanted to give off. He was aware of the fact that there would be some people who would only ever get one glimpse of him in their lifetimes, he wanted it to be the right one. As do I.
Why don’t you drink?
I have a really bad family history with alcohol. Plus, I’ve smelt alcohol before and it doesn’t appeal to me. Shout out to V.
What do you have against Shangs?
Nothing. Absolutely nothing. I make jokes stemming from my parents’ predjudice, but personally, I have no problem with a girl if they’re of Shanghainese descent. Sure, I might refuse to answer questions about how much I make, or decline invitations to expensive restaurants…but that’s nothing to do with them being Shang.
Why are you single? And also, are you interested in anyone at the moment?
In terms of the first part, it’s part choice part lack there of. I’m really happy with my life right now, I have a good balance in terms of friendships, work, study and leisure time and I feel that the addition of a significant other would severely impact upon all other aspects of my life. In saying all of that, I would be very receptive to a good situation. And yes, yes I am interested in a very particular situation right now. Alas, a deal isn’t in the works.
Why are you friends with so many girls?
Swag.
Why do you work so far from where you live?
I love the people I work with. Truth. I have no affection towards cleaning popcorn, getting yelled at by old people, harassed by little kids and having movies spoiled for me. I genuinely enjoy my fellow work comrades and doubt that any other casual workplace environment has the same sort of staff I get to work with on a regular basis.
Do you want to get married?
I am married. I’m married to the game.
Seriously, what’s with all the V drinking?
It started during the HSC. I would wake up really early in the morning and scull one before scouring my notes and prepared essays, it sort of became routine even after the need to study evaporated and now I can’t shake the habit. Plus, I really like the taste.
What do you want to do after you gradaute?
Keep in mind that this plan is going to change. After I finish this upcoming semester with a wam barely above credit, I will celebrate copioously and yell furiously at the sky pretending that it consists of every single detractor I’ve ever had in my life. I will be working at the Ritz for a sustained period of time until I take a one week trip to New York; make it rain there; come back; search for a real job; secure a real job; yell at the sky again then go down to Melbourne to celebrate before coming back to Sydney and commencing my nine to five. Oh, and I’ll be dating you. Sweet.
How would you describe yourself in five words?
Bad decisions with good intentions. (GODLIKE, SAY WHAT?!)
Are you typically a jealous person?
I’m like a peanut butter sandwich, no jelly. In all seriousness, I just don’t get jealous of people because I have a really high level of self belief. I admire certain things that people can do and I respect their abilities, but I don’t hate anyone for being capable of something that I can’t do.
What’s with the haircut?
I had really short hair growing up as my mother would persuade me into going to the barber via toys and ice cream. Short hair, in addition to my ridiculous eyebrows, made me look like I was in a permanent state of anger. Plus I didn’t like the look, so I let my hair grow out as soon as I grew old enough to have autonomy over any and all decisions involving my mop. I like it…maybe down the track I’ll cut it to something shorter, but as of right now..if it ain’t broke…
How’d you lose all the weight?
For all those that don’t know..I weighed about 80kg towards the end of year ten and now I am far below that. I didn’t grow taller, I didn’t radically change my diet, I did start playing a bit more basketball but not so much that it would cause weight loss. I really don’t know..I think I cut Pepsi out of my system as well, but that’s it really.
What course would you like to be doing if you weren’t doing Criminology?
Law. I’d love to do architecture as well but my drawing skills have yet to blossom…teaching and majoring in P.E. was a viable option once upon a time; maybe I.T. On the flip side I never considered commerce, science or any form of engineering. Y’all can hold that.
Favourite food?
The list goes something like pho, pizza, pasta, sushi. The order fluctuates depending on the day you ask me. Oh and in terms of dessert; I find it hard to say no to ice cream.
What’s your take on having kids?
I AIN’T RAISING NO BABY *FINGER WAG.*
What’s the number one quality you look for in a partner?
One? I’ll give you five:
- Able to cook better than me, bonus points if she can make pho.
- Patience
- Dimples
- Cares about my interests (Bonus swag points if she’s into any of the following: basketball; fighting games; movies)
- Mensa level IQ. I’m only half kidding on this one.
You seem to be a relatively happy dude, how come you have so much sad music on your iPod?
Once I heard someone say that in order to write love songs, you have to have been through some bad times. To write a love song, you have to have your heart broken. If that’s the case, I can state right here and now that I could write the greatest love songs in the world.
Yeah, I know I didn’t really answer the question…or did I?
If you could have any superpower, what would it be?
Teleportation. The pratctical usage of that ability is almost infinite, it can be used to replicate flying (teleporting through the air rapidly = flying), it could be used as super strength (coming into contact with an object you want to lift then teleporting up), and think about the convenience…you’d be a walking 7/11. Oh and THIS.
Do you miss high school?
My high school experience involved a lot of awesome memories with some awesome people and yeah…awesome. But I think one thing most people are guilty of when reminiscing over their high school experiences is that they’re looking through rose tinted glasses…or beer goggles for something my target demographic would understand. We focus on the highlights, the best bits, and we tend to forget the sh*t that brought us to our knees
Even though what we’re doing in university has more real life repercussions (Editor’s note: University is a stepping stone, it goes High School -> University -> Career/Bitches), for me, high school was more about emotional development whilst university is supposed to be about skill development. Hmm…still waiting on those skills to start levelling up, but alas, the intention to improve and better myself is there even if the courses ain’t.
I do miss handball, $1 Pepsis, and seeing my friends on a daily basis. But that’s about it really. I love having responsibilities and knowing that my successes and failures are on me, and me alone.
