What’s up party people?
Isaac: I have a virus
S: You do? *Backs away*
Isaac: No you idiot, a computer virus
In a cruel sense of sadistic irony, I have been struck down by a fever that has obviously been watching way too many ninja movies as it came out of seemingly nowhere. Admittedly I was a bit restless yesterday and found it difficult to at full speed, but it never crossed my mind that my body had been burnt out once again. I’ve deliberately been taking it easy so that I would be at peak fitness levels during the home run stretch of the semester but apparently I have overestimated my abilities once again and now am bedridden with a malfunctioning netbook computer.
Oh well, though I’m a bit under the weather, my mood is still nothing but sunshine and lollipops.

Nice. Very nice.
Anywho, on to the next one:
The fans have spoken, and by sheer numbers alone, it appears that my editor is infinitely more popular than myself. So I thought I’d hand over the reigns to him again and let him write about something he’s been thinking about for a little while now.
Advice to Isaac.
Editor here.
So Mr Lai has finally come to his senses and realised that his mediocre writing ability is not enough to keep his own friends entertained, better late than never, but never late is better. Should have realised it kid, now it’s up to me to save his little blog from extinction. So as Mr “I have a fever” puts his feet up, I’ll be writing something that he correctly stated has been on my mind for a while. He spends a lot of time looking back, he’s a rather reminiscent fellow, but to quote Inception, he does not want to be an old man filled with regret waiting to die alone.
So, I thought I’d write a couple of short paragraphs to his former incarnations, a little advice to keep his head in check. And to remind him how he got to where he was today, understand? No, but that’s ok.
Dear Isaac ’95
Hey there little buddy, yeah I know your name is Anthony but trust me, you’ll like Isaac a lot better. I see you’ve met your older sister, I know she seems mean but she’ll mean a lot to you in the future, and she loves you buddy, don’t be too angry about all the things she’s changing. It’s about time you learnt some discipline, and yes she is a bit lazy at times, but covering her ass will make you a better dude as you grow up. Oh and by the way, do not swallow that 20c piece you find on the floor you’ll find in July, you’ll regret it.
Dear Isaac ’00
Hey man! Long time without hearing from you, do you like school? I am well aware that you still lie awake at night waiting for the day you can get out of the place but believe me when I say that you’ll look back upon these days fondly, even if Chinese can be a bitch sometimes, you’ll feel a lot better about yourself in a few years when a tonne of your friends can no longer speak effective Chinese. And by the way, I know you’re special, you’ve been told that your whole life, but please tone down the arrogance, there is no need to show up your classmates in class, there will be a time where that confidence will serve you well, but not when you’re in fourth grade. And oh yeah, talk to HER. Don’t just admire her from a far, becoming friends with her will be a great experience buddy.
Dear Isaac ’02
What up partner? First off, stop saying sh*t on a stick, it’s not funny. Secondly, good job dancing with HER at the farewell, those were some sweet ass dance moves for an eleven year old. I’m very proud of you for having become friends with her, but dude, tell her how you feel. I know you’re eleven, but think of what a cool story it’ll be if you actually capitalised upon this foundation? And yes, I know I’m using bigger words now, but you get them don’t you? There’s no need to pretend to be dumb with your friends, there’s a reason why the teachers keep assigning you too better classes. And by the way, she’s going to St George. Think about it kid.
Dear Isaac ’05
My man! What’s been happening? That’s a rhetorical question by the way, I know exactly what’s been happening. It’s been a tough year, I know you feel shaken, but in time when you look back, you’ll realise that this betrayal is one of the defining moments of your teenage life. You’re angry, lonely and frustrated, but better things will happen in time. And yes, change your name sooner so people will get used to it, being called Anthony is going to tick you off from here on out.
Dear Isaac ’08
Isaac, how do you do? Nice badge you got there, I’m really proud of you man, even if the folks aren’t. Not everyone can say that they managed to juggle the responsibilities of being school captain and the HSC in the same year, I really am man. Oh by the way, she won’t last, but enjoy the time you guys have together, but don’t take her sh*t about being from a lesser school. It’s been a big year for you, and you made a lot of mistakes. Please stop spending so much money on other people, so much that you’re even thinking about missing the Kanye West concert, it’s KANYE WEST man, please, please, please stop spending money on stupid things. Save up. And don’t buy the car, trust me. Another thing, when she calls you, go out and see her, or you’ll regret it.
Dear Isaac ’09
What’s up party person? Don’t like the line? Oh you will. Prepare for the best year of your life man, and keep your head on straight at all times, don’t get caught up in the heat of the moment. And remember when I told you to save money? It better be earning interest right now man, you’ll need it. Keep working hard at Uni man, I know you feel like you have a lot to prove to yourself, just don’t push yourself over the edge. It gets worse from here, but the sky is darkest before the dawn. Oh and she’s a great girl, I know you’ve noticed, but she’s not the right fit for you, and she won’t change to fit your needs, she doesn’t have to to do that and no matter how hard you try you won’t penetrate her fortress of solitude. But she can be a great friend, don’t screw it up.
Oh and I know the crew you’re hanging out with is fun, but keep in touch with everyone else. They watched you grow and they love you too man, don’t let them float away.
And I’m glad you ditched the wrist band, the tan line was ridiculous.
Peace out man.
Until next time folks! Stay classy!