Room for Happiness

What’s up party people?

“THE POETRY OF LIFE: Getting smashed in the side of the head with a boysenberry choc-top thrown from a moving carload of young guys right after you knock of from three days straight at the cinema… From its crisp impact and solid/balanced weight I could tell that this was one of my own, a choc-top I had made only days before.”

- Thanks to everyone who has offered me their congratulations via text, Facebook, hugs, fist bump and handshake. In all honesty, I haven’t really processed the fact that I’m a graduate to the fact that I was working as soon as I handed in the last of my assessments. The closest I’ve come to celebrating was taking a two hour nap when I got home last Thursday, it was Heavenly but pretty low key when it comes to graduation celebrations.

- Also, big props to everyone who read both entries about Stuff Asian People Like; it was definitely fun to write about something other than myself for a change….even though I managed to incorporate some personal stuff in there, whatever.

- Has anyone seen In Time yet? Personally; I still find it hard to take Justin Timberlake seriously as an actor because I can still picture him singing the chorus to Bye Bye Bye. But that’s just me; and I always intended to watch it because Amanda Seyfried’s boobs are also starring in the movie. God, I love shallow casting directors; shout out to them!

- Today’s opening quotes was the status of one of my friends from work. Everyone who has never worked in a cinema before should consider themselves lucky; I hear a lot of people in retail complain about the crap they have to deal with; but keep in mind that there are movies for every demographic in the world. So that means cinema workers have to deal with every type of scum that is embedded in our society…annoying kids, patronising adults and senile elderly folk. F*ck.

- I rewatched Wedding Crashers last week. Classic film, it belongs in my pantheon of ‘films I watched three weeks ago but can’t resit rewatching again.’ Anywho, I can’t wait ’til my friends start getting hitched and I can start taking advantage of all the single girls at these events. Yes, the look in my eyes is practically devilish right now.

- Oh sh*t, Kim Kardashian a.k.a. the chick with a bigger ass than Jennifer Lopez just got a divorce from my main man Kris Humphries. Their marriage lasted 72 days….Holy sh*t! Even my relationship back in the stone ages went for longer; that’s amazing. When your relationship ends faster than mine; you know you’re destined to be forever alone.

Sh*t, I don't even drink.

Anywho, on to the next one:

(Editor’s note: It’s a good one today….well for Isaac’s sh*tty standards)

The Movie Star ’11

The Ritz Cinema was filled to the brim with people all excited for the premiere of the new movie 33 Postcards. 700 tickets had been pre-bought and the staff there were scurrying all over the place preparing for the festivities. Celebrities would be in attendance, as would some of the actors from the actual movie. In all honesty, twenty year old Isaac couldn’t care less. This was the fourth day in a row in which he was working and his mind was elsewhere. He just wanted the shift to be over so that he could return home where his bed and Playstation awaited.

And then….his mind went blank.

Standing directly outside the Ritz was an angel. An Asian angel in a tan dress who was currently getting interviewed by an elderly Chinese lady; Isaac’s mouth was opening and closing like a goldfish trying to chow down on fish flakes. This was a gift from God (aka Michael Jordan) himself. He wondered why this girl was here….he voiced the question and his coworker responded; she was one of the actresses in the movie.

Her name was Zhu Ling…and she was f*cking fine.

****

The doors to the cinema were finally open to the public, Isaac collected tickets at a manic pace as hordes of people streamed through. He thought he had glimpsed his angel earlier but he lost his line of vision during the human  stampede. The crowd was finally within the cinema and Zhu was nowhere in sight, a disappointed Isaac left his post and spoke to some of his coworkers. They informed him that her, along with most of the other stars, directors and producers had left as soon as the feature started.

A heartbroken Isaac was speechless.

****

Two hours had passed and the movie was about to wrap up. Isaac and the rest of the diligent, hard working and extremely good looking staff at the Ritz cinema were cleaning up. Isaac was mopping furiously, trying to wipe away his regrets. He had wanted a picture, maybe a smile, and yes…some eyesex would’ve been magical. Alas, it was not to be. He tried describing her beauty to a friend who didn’t get to feast his eyes on her and found it difficult, for once, words were beyond Isaac.

He resumed mopping with a furor when fate dealt Isaac four aces.

She had returned with her entourage.

The night was not over.

****

Isaac’s shift was over and he threw the mop into the corner and ran into the bathroom. He adjusted his hair, stared long and hard into the mirror trying to fix his looks via ESP. He sprayed some cologne all over in a last ditch effort to make himself seem more appealing. After his mini beautification session, he rushed out of the bathroom and towards the foyer where he had heard she was located.

There she was, currently speaking to some fans about the movie they had just watched.

Isaac waited behind the crowd for a chance to talk to her.

His time had come.

He approached her, game face steady, and spoke (in Mandarin).

Isaac: Is it ok if I take a photo with you?

Zhu: Of course!

Isaac kept his composure and sidled up next to her and started grinning.

Isaac: I’m Isaac by the way

Zhu: Oh hello Isaac, I’m Zhu.

There was a slight pause as their photo was taken; Isaac trying very hard not to burst into a grin that would expose all of his teeth and make him look like a guy who had touched a boob for the first time.

There was another surprise in store.

Zhu, suddenly switched to English:

Zhu: It was very nice to meet you Isaac.

JIZZINMYPANTS

(Editor’s note: Photo can be seen HERE)

Until next time folks! Stay classy!