Can’t spell success without u

What’s up party people?

M:  I miss being the age when I thought I would have my sh*t together by the time I was the age I am now

- Where do you think you’ll be four years from now? Back in 2007, I remember being asked a similar question (it was five years, not four) and providing the following response:

“In five years, I would love to be in the United State of America, studying somewhere in New York, if not New York, probably somewhere in North Carolina like UNC or Duke. I’ve never seen myself staying in Australia for my entire life. After that, I’d like to be a lawyer…or better yet a sports journalist.”

Let’s see…I still live in Australia and look like I’ll be here for a while, I’m studying to be a criminologist (whatever that is) and the closest I’ve ever been to UNC or Duke is…well, I own a Duke hoodie. I will now wax my hairless chest.

- Shout out to all my friends at the Ritz. Awesome quotes like the one that opened this blog will be missed dearly.

- Isaac: Say you go to an ice cream place with a bunch of your friends. You’ll have that one friend that chooses a different flavour everytime cause she hasn’t found the one she really likes yet. You’ll also have that other friend who picks the same flavour everytime because it’s exactly what she wanted.

I want that. And er..I’m only sort of talking about ice cream.

- I don’t get why people like orange juice with pulp. It’s a drink, I want it to be completely liquid. The only exceptions to that rule I can think of include slurpees & frappes.

- I have my iTunes on shuffle right now; the past four songs have been Whatever Will Be – Tammin Sursok, 99 Problems – Jay-Z, Solar Sailer – Daft Punk and Wicked Games – The Weeknd. Who said I didn’t have diverse taste in music (Editor’s note: They said sh*t taste, not diverse dimwit)?

- Someone asked me what my plans for NYE were this year. I told them I’d be at home watching the telecast. They laughed. I didn’t.

Which one will you be?

S: It’s disrespect and my parents think I have chosen the wrong boy to be my boyfriend!

Isaac: Well, you didn’t know me at the time so they gotta stop blaming you!

S: Lol!! Aw Isaac you’ve made me smile!

It’s just what I do

Anywho, on to the next one:

The Ranking ’07

Walking with a slight spring in his step, sixteen year old Isaac headed towards the kitchen to pour himself a glass of ice cold Pepsi. Bobbing his head as if listening to rap, he pulled open the fridge door slightly harder than he normally would. As if by command, the bottle of Pepsi fell off one of the racks and Isaac caught it just as it was about to hit the floor.

His mother emerged from seemingly nowhere (Editor’s note: In hindsight, she was probably cooking) and leered at her brown/blonde headed son who was humming to himself whilst pouring diabetes into a glass. Her eyes continued to narrow when Isaac finally looked his mother in the eye, both of them curiously eyeing each other wondering what the other one was doing.

Mother: How come you’re so happy?

(Editor’s note: 2007 wasn’t a particularly strong year, the highlights for this year was watching one of his friends win in Warcraft, scoring two points in a basketball game against Belmore Boys, asking his English teacher how her pregnancy was coming along when she wasn’t actually pregnant and getting announced as school captain at a school that hasn’t been in the top 250 in NSW since 2008. Actually, that’s a pretty solid highlight tape)

Isaac: Got my report back today, I came third in English.

For a second, Isaac expected his mother to swell with pride, maybe nod approvingly and tell him to keep up the good work. Then, he remembered…

Mother: Third?! Wow, I remember the days when you’d come first…what happened?!

Isaac: Well…er there are these two girls who work really hard

Mother: You should work harder, third…

With that, his mother turned around and disappeared.

Isaac sighed deeply and left the kitchen.

He had forgotten about his Pepsi.

(Editor’s note: In all honesty though, third was pretty f*cking bad).

Until next time folks! Stay classy!