What’s up party people?
“Those who say ‘f*ck bitches, get money’ usually don’t have either”
There have been murmurs that as time has passed, and my drought has stretched out from days to weeks to months to years, that I have become a bitter, lonely single person. Why else would I write so frequently about bitchy females, refer to them as sets of boobs, constantly give shout outs to my bros, rally my fellow nice guys, warn my brothers in arms about the treacherous scum they would encounter in the wild. Furthering that point, it would explain the mean Facebook status updates, the general laissez faire attitude towards commitment.
In summary, it would appear that I am committed to being uncommitted.
The truth is…I LOVED being in relationships. Seriously, some of the best moments in my life so far was when someone else was my highest priority. I’m a really cheesy dude, I enjoy listening to people tell me about the romantic things their significant others do for them and vice versa, Hell, I’ve even helped plan some of those cheesy gestures. It’s just how I do.
The commitment thing…ummm I heard a while ago that people who say:
“I’m not ready for commitment”
Are really saying:
“I still want to hook up with people with no consequences”
I disagree; as of right now, I’m not too keen on committing to someone simply due to the fact I don’t have someone I’m willing to commit to.
I’m not hooking up with anyone in the mean time.
I’m doing me in the mean time.
I didn't mean that...oh well.
In fairness, I will now argue that counterpoint about commitments.
“I’m not ready for commitment.”
I’ve heard it before, and it’s likely that I’ll hear it again. Though I think that there are instances that people just use this cliche cause it’s a classic; every now and then you meet someone who genuinely isn’t.
And there’s nothing wrong with that, or hooking up with as many guys and girls in the process.
Let me try and explain why.
Your first relationship is often the most memorable, but never the best. Why? Generally speaking, both parties are at relatively similar levels in terms of physical, mental and emotional maturity at the time and they’re undergoing a learning process at the same time. When that ends, they move on once again to someone at a similar stage in their lives and continue developing, eventually (hopefully) they reach that point where they feel they’ve learnt enough to settle down and to exist in a functional relationship.
Take my sister for example.
She started dating relatively young, racked up tonnes of experience (Editor’s note: Ew), and by the time she hit nineteen she had the relationship knowledge of someone much older and the understanding, so her transition to married life was relatively smooth.
Then, there’s people like me.
Didn’t start dating ’til post puberty, have spent a total of four months in relationships out of twenty years, have spent more time pursuing girls than actually being with girls.
Suffice to say it, my development is patchy and lacking a little bit (Editor’s note: Enter lack of sexperience joke here).
So people who hook up, in their defence, they might simply be engaging in work experience. So when a position opens up, one they truly want, they’ll have the proper skills, understanding and job experience to fully engage in said position. As opposed to stumbling in there blind, not knowing what to do, feeling inferior to his/her counterpart and being fired within three months.
So…the next time you see some chick in the club in a short dress and f*ck me pumps tongue wrestling with some guy, keep in mind that she might be engaging in a job interview for one of your bros.
On second thought…I really need to work on my theories.
Anywho, on to the next one:
The Pursuit ’09
Past the first week, most university students don’t usually learn anything in their lectures. They go so they feel productive when most of the time they do the things that they would have done if they had decided to stay home anyway e.g. Youtube, stalking some hottie on Facebook. Eighteen year old Isaac was doing neither, instead, he was focusing on the person in front.
No, not the lecturer.
The girl that was sitting near the front of the lecture theater. Isaac had long lost interest in whatever the lecturer was rambling about, Hell, he remembered zoning out within the first fifteen minutes of the introductory lecture. She had long brown hair, she looked studious and innocent, all traits that Isaac had begun to like. He wondered if he was ever going to actually meet her, perhaps they’d be in the same tutorial down the line.
Perhaps
****
C: Ok, this ends here
Isaac’s friend put the foot down. It was late in the semester and Isaac had still yet to even find out her name, he simply admired her from afar. His attendance in lecturers was absymal, but was excellent for this subject. No one needed to ask why.
Isaac: What do you suggest we do?
Isaac’s two female friends took charge, they entered the lecture theatre and to their surprise, Isaac’s crush was not there. Slightly disappointed, the trio sat in their usual seats and began wondering aloud as to where she was.
Then…she entered the room.
Isaac glanced at his buddies, and saw that they were in motion. He hastily packed up as well, and to his surprise, he saw that they were walking straight towards her.
She always sat alone. Not this day.
****
C: Yeah, we’ve got group meetings, so you just chill with Isaac.
Isaac was now alone with her, he now knew her name, and knew a little about her too. She was sweet, kind and shared a lot of common interests. They had similar timetables which is why they both had a free hour in which they were spending together. They spoke about everything, it was amazing how easy to talk to she was.
They spoke about their childhoods.
Their highschool experiences
Their families
Their futures
Then, they started talking about her boyfriend.
Until next time folks! Stay classy!
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