Life ain’t a rehearsal, the camera’s always rolling

What’s up party people?

“But I guess life’s not really like that, is it?”

I’ve been rewatching The OC again and other than noticing how fine Rachel Bilson looked throughout, I noticed how from a thirteen year old perspective, it would all seem unrealistic. Which it is, the OC is entirely fictional not based on any real life events or characters and hell it wasn’t even filmed at the real OC. However, after the years I’ve had, I’ve come to appreciate how hectic and dramatic life actually can be. It’s relentless, it’s cruel and if you let it get to you it’s fcuking demoralising.

But, when told to someone else, when written for someone else to read, it’s mother fcuking entertaining. Obviously my life is missing a Marissa Cooper, guns, drugs, and doesn’t involve earthquakes. However, a revolving door of characters, a seemingly endless amount of social events, problems to do with family, housing and money. That, I can do.

So welcome to the OC, bitch.

Agreed. A genius must have been behind this motivational poster

I am still trying valiantly to recover in time for my back to back shifts at the cafe, but it’s proving to be difficult. I am constantly tired and at risk of falling asleep at any given moment, and the moments I am awake prove to be rather painful as speaking has become a burden. Better now than during finals I suppose.

Anywho, on to the next one:

Spring Cleaning ’10

People who have never visited my place of residence would probably imagine me to be messy and untidy.With so much going on, cleaning my room might seem like something trivial and not exactly one of my top priorities. Actually, I think having a clean workspace is essential, and knowing exactly where everything is is as important as having all those things, if something is lost, it can’t exactly be useful now can it?

So in order to keep my fortress of solitude in pristine shape, regular tidying and cleaning is required.

And by regular, I mean everytime the season changes, because I don’t make a lot of mess.

An empty box flew across the room crashing spectacularly into a small pile of other discarded items. Pieces of plastic, old headphones, bags from department stores, all unsorted sitting on a mountain of junk. And the items continued to fly, all from the hands of nineteen year old Isaac Lai who was throwing these items with blind precision. He found a myriad of unpacked boxes, relics from when he first moved into the house on the boulevarde. Ripping them open with barely any consideration, he continued heaving all the unwanted items into the pile.

Then, he moved onto the bags. Even the bags were filled to capacity, reminding him how long it had been since he had conducted a proper clean up. Relentlessly, a picture of concentration, Isaac continued tearing through his own belongings. Then he stopped, he had found a bag filled with old birthday cards, Christmas cards and letters. He took some of them out and began reading.

***

With a heavy heart and mind, he picked some of them to discard. An hour past, his room was now clear and the cupboards slightly more bare than before. Glancing around, he noticed a bag of recyclable material he had forgotten to throw away. Picking up the bag, he headed downstairs to the bins once again.

He opened the door to the backyard where the bins were kept and was met with an odd sight. His mother was standing over the recycling bin, holding a letter in one hand, and an envelope in another. She had picked up one of Isaac’s discarded love letters and was vigorously looking for words she recognised. She froze at the sight of her nineteen year old son glaring at her.

Until next time folks! Stay classy!

One regret from yesterday, that just seems to grow with time

What’s up party people?

Isaac: I have a virus

S: You do? *Backs away*

Isaac: No you idiot, a computer virus

In a cruel sense of sadistic irony, I have been struck down by a fever that has obviously been watching way too many ninja movies as it came out of seemingly nowhere. Admittedly I was a bit restless yesterday and found it difficult to at full speed, but it never crossed my mind that my body had been burnt out once again. I’ve deliberately been taking it easy so that I would be at peak fitness levels during the home run stretch of the semester but apparently I have overestimated my abilities once again and now am bedridden with a malfunctioning netbook computer.

Oh well, though I’m a bit under the weather, my mood is still nothing but sunshine and lollipops.

Nice. Very nice.

Anywho, on to the next one:

The fans have spoken, and by sheer numbers alone, it appears that my editor is infinitely more popular than myself. So I thought I’d hand over the reigns to him again and let him write about something he’s been thinking about for a little while now.

Advice to Isaac.

Editor here.

So Mr Lai has finally come to his senses and realised that his mediocre writing ability is not enough to keep his own friends entertained, better late than never, but never late is better. Should have realised it kid, now it’s up to me to save his little blog from extinction. So as Mr “I have a fever” puts his feet up, I’ll be writing something that he correctly stated has been on my mind for a while. He spends a lot of time looking back, he’s a rather reminiscent fellow, but to quote Inception, he does not want to be an old man filled with regret waiting to die alone.

So, I thought I’d write a couple of short paragraphs to his former incarnations, a little advice to keep his head in check. And to remind him how he got to where he was today, understand? No, but that’s ok.

Dear Isaac ’95

Hey there little buddy, yeah I know your name is Anthony but trust me, you’ll like Isaac a lot better. I see you’ve met your older sister, I know she seems mean but she’ll mean a lot to you in the future, and she loves you buddy, don’t be too angry about all the things she’s changing. It’s about time you learnt some discipline, and yes she is a bit lazy at times, but covering her ass will make you a better dude as you grow up. Oh and by the way, do not swallow that 20c piece you find on the floor you’ll find in July, you’ll regret it.

Dear Isaac ’00

Hey man! Long time without hearing from you, do you like school? I am well aware that you still lie awake at night waiting for the day you can get out of the place but believe me when I say that you’ll look back upon these days fondly, even if Chinese can be a bitch sometimes, you’ll feel a lot better about yourself in a few years when a tonne of your friends can no longer speak effective Chinese. And by the way, I know you’re special, you’ve been told that your whole life, but please tone down the arrogance, there is no need to show up your classmates in class, there will be a time where that confidence will serve you well, but not when you’re in fourth grade. And oh yeah, talk to HER. Don’t just admire her from a far, becoming friends with her will be a great experience buddy.

Dear Isaac ’02

What up partner? First off, stop saying sh*t on a stick, it’s not funny. Secondly, good job dancing with HER at the farewell, those were some sweet ass dance moves for an eleven year old. I’m very proud of you for having become friends with her, but dude, tell her how you feel. I know you’re eleven, but think of what a cool story it’ll be if you actually capitalised upon this foundation? And yes, I know I’m using bigger words now, but you get them don’t you? There’s no need to pretend to be dumb with your friends, there’s a reason why the teachers keep assigning you too better classes. And by the way, she’s going to St George. Think about it kid.

Dear Isaac ’05

My man! What’s been happening? That’s a rhetorical question by the way, I know exactly what’s been happening. It’s been a tough year, I know you feel shaken, but in time when you look back, you’ll realise that this betrayal is one of the defining moments of your teenage life. You’re angry, lonely and frustrated, but better things will happen in time. And yes, change your name sooner so people will get used to it, being called Anthony is going to tick you off from here on out.

Dear Isaac ’08

Isaac, how do you do? Nice badge you got there, I’m really proud of you man, even if the folks aren’t. Not everyone can say that they managed to juggle the responsibilities of being school captain and the HSC in the same year, I really am man. Oh by the way, she won’t last, but enjoy the time you guys have together, but don’t take her sh*t about being from a lesser school. It’s been a big year for you, and you made a lot of mistakes. Please stop spending so much money on other people, so much that you’re even thinking about missing the Kanye West concert, it’s KANYE WEST man, please, please, please stop spending money on stupid things. Save up. And don’t buy the car, trust me. Another thing, when she calls you, go out and see her, or you’ll regret it.

Dear Isaac ’09

What’s up party person? Don’t like the line? Oh you will. Prepare for the best year of your life man, and keep your head on straight at all times, don’t get caught up in the heat of the moment. And remember when I told you to save money? It better be earning interest right now man, you’ll need it. Keep working hard at Uni man, I know you feel like you have a lot to prove to yourself, just don’t push yourself over the edge. It gets worse from here, but the sky is darkest before the dawn. Oh and she’s a great girl, I know you’ve noticed, but she’s not the right fit for you, and she won’t change to fit your needs, she doesn’t have to to do that and no matter how hard you try you won’t penetrate her fortress of solitude. But she can be a great friend, don’t screw it up.

Oh and I know the crew you’re hanging out with is fun, but keep in touch with everyone else. They watched you grow and they love you too man, don’t let them float away.

And I’m glad you ditched the wrist band, the tan line was ridiculous.

Peace out man.

Until next time folks! Stay classy!

It may sound absurd, but don’t be naive

What’s up party people?

Isaac: I feel good man, I feel incredibly jovial today

B: Yeah, because you’re so sullen and downcast most of the time

Isaac: Touche.

I hate to beat on a deadhorse, but after spending a large amount of my spare time scouring some of the blogs of my friends, I thought I needed to go in on this topic once again; that topic being the reason I continue to lay everything down on this blog that I have aptly renamed Part Boast, Part Confession.

That title is about as subtle as the bombs laid upon Hiroshima and Nagasaki, that blog title is a statement. Once you start reading, you’re delving into my hubris, you’re reading my recounts of glory over mediocrity, you’re unwittingly buying into the illustrious reputation I have built for myself. And other times, you’ll see something a bit more gentle, pouring out what many have called the pansy posts; regret, bitterness, longing, mourning.

I write simply to entertain, to give some people an insight on how I function and on some days writing is the ultimate therapy.

I do not write incredibly poetry that I have seen some people write, I do not scribe stories worthy of a best seller.

By my words I strut around town like I have an S on my chest. Superman in his full glory flying through Metropolis waving at his adoring fans.

By my words, I sink into a corner, flicking the hair out of my eyes as I pour my soul out like the S stands for sorrow instead.

Shout out to everyone who just comes on my blog to look at motivational posters

Anywho, on to the next one:

Bro-crifice ’10

People who have observed the people I hang out usually come up with the same conclusion; I hang out with females a lot more than I do bros. The reason for this is due to the fact that I only have a few really good bros, and a tonne of hoes I don’t mind spending time with. I’m a lot more picky when it comes to wingmen due to the fact that girls are so plentiful and easily replaced (Editor’s note: Oh sh*t, this isn’t going to end well).

That is why I uphold the bro code, as a sign of loyalty and man love towards my bretheren, the little sacrifices we make just to express our man love (Editor’s note: Anyone else getting a distinct gay vibe from this?).

The Ritz Cinema, Randwick was quiet. The sessions had all gone in, and the staff were trying to fix the damage that had been caused by the horded of rowdy kids and frustrated adults. The cafe staff swept away popcorn and replenished their stock, the floor staff, all of them battle weary, marched towards the production room. The ticket selling staff were laughing at sexual innuendo, and that is where nineteen year old Isaac was. Sitting on a chair that was way too high, and laughing like the buffoon he was.

The two males continued speaking about acts of sheer randomness just as a young blonde girl approached the ticket box. She was about 5’2” tall, flashing a cute smile and holding a few sheets of paper in her hand. Isaac was about to hail her but she had chosen to speak to his friend instead.

Blonde: Hey, this is my application form for the Ritz

Friend: Oh ok

Isaac: Nice.

Friend: I’ll just process this for you, we’ll call you about an interview etc

Blonde: Ok, thanks, bye guys!

As soon as she had left, the two males scoured her resume with no shame. Isaac got ahold of her name, and his friend checked her age just to make sure they wouldn’t be convicted of any crimes.

Isaac: Hey, she was pretty cute. DIBS!

His friend looked at him quizzically before laughing along with him.

****

A short while later, Isaac returned to the ticket box after a bathroom break. He had spent the past few minutes thinking about the girl he had just called dibs upon, and was going to relay his thoughts to his ticket selling wingman.

Isaac: Dude, I have decided that if you request so, I will retract dibs on her. That’s what bros do.

Another quizzical look, another laughing session.

Bromance right there.

Until next time folks! Stay classy!

Turns the corner not even noticing me

What’s up party people?

Tutor: Ok, now that you’ve heard from all the other groups, other than yourselves, who do you think presented their case the best?

Isaac: Hmph, other than ourselves?

It’s a little mind boggling for me that it’s been almost two years since a seventeen year old version of me got ready to conquer the HSC. I remember every exam I sat, I vaguely recall each individual study session, I definitely can visualise my cocky demeanor and can replicate the boasting nature I had adopted in preparation. What’s most clear is I remember anxiety I experienced in the months leading up to the exams, it wasn’t the content that scared me, the only thing that even came close to phasing me was the hype around it, the incredible year long wait before I could sit half a dozen exams.

I knew once they started that it wouldn’t be a problem for me.

So good luck to the class of 2010, make me proud, shout out to mini Pepz and King Thunbo’s kid brother, hopefully the lot of you come and rock with me at UNSW.

Barely any relevance, but come on, its Pokemon!

Anywho, on to the next one:

If we ever meet again ’10

No back story as it’ll spoil the main story, shall we dive right into it?

The numbers flew out at him, barely meaning anything. Nineteen year old Isaac’s eyes were drooping as he blinked rapidly, trying to remain awake, and also attempting to figure out when the next bus home was. He never took the bus home from Strathfield, but this night was an exception. His legs felt like jelly and exhaustion was an understatement. Finally deciphering that the next bus wasn’t due for an hour, he shrugged and started the walk home.

As he walked, he saw various St George Dragons’ jerseys and he sneered at all the people wearing them, they were in the heart of Tigers’ territory and there were several Judas’s about, this didn’t please our weary nineteen year old. He could’ve sworn that each one he glared at muttered something insulting back at him, he could’ve sworn he heard his name being called.

“Isaac…Isaac…ISAAC!”

His name was being called. Snapping out of his stupor, he turned around and took his headphones off.

Two females were looking right at him, they had been the two who had been yelling out his name. Isaac blinked again, he did not recognise them. He took one step towards them apprehensively

Isaac: Hey..

Girl 1: Hey! I was calling out your name  but you weren’t responding

Girl 2: Haha he responded to me

The second girl beamed at him and he smiled back, even if it was a little strained. His mind was racing, trying to conjure up a name to match their faces

Girl 1: Oh man, don’t look at me, my hair is horrible

Isaac: Er..it looks fine, I do have headphone hair afterall, where are you guys headed?

Girl 2: Umm probably the city, maybe clubbing

His mind no longer functioning, he thought it was best to make a quick exit before it became anymore awkward.

Isaac: Ah ok, well I’m going to head home, have fun guys!

He gave his trademark wave and turned on his heels and accelerated towards his parents’ house. Five minutes passed and he still hadn’t remembered who they were, he had obviously met them before, his mind began racing through all the parties, all the social events, the random hangouts that never required much planning, the dates…

Bingo.

His cheeks began turning crimson as he remember who the first girl was.

Isaac: Holy sh*t!

Until next time folks! Stay classy!

Have the shortest memory, but I can’t forget the pain

What’s up party people?

K: I’m sure you’re a true blue stud

Isaac: That is so far from the truth

Ahhh once again huge shout out to Roxy for taking the reigns of my humble little blog for a while, my batteries have been rather depleted for a while and it was good to get a break

I really don’t know where that reputation originated, probably from something I’ve said in the past, or something I did that made it seem like I was anything but a novice when it came to the opposite sex. Here I am again, going in to the record straight, if girls are a game, I haven’t progressed that many levels, I am far from completing it, hell I’ve been Googling walk throughs.

People who dispute my beliefs point at my 2K9 female experiences, and people in my camp point to the fact that I spent most of this year chasing someone that didn’t want to be chased. Being the guy involved in these discussions, I tend to side with the latter, it has been a painful process, I was running in a marathon that didn’t have an end in sight, it didn’t have checkpoints to encourage me that the race was coming to an end. It was a never ending run through hell, that I have just emerged from. No stud finds himself consistently in these situations like I do.

Even McLovin' does better than me

Anywho, on to the next one:

Antisocial ’08

Personally, the Internet has become my number one source of entertainment. When I was younger, that spot belonged to television, followed closely by reading, now the internet has surpassed television and I am on it on an almost hourly basis. So imagine how different I was back in 2008, when after a series of horrible coincidences I was left without the internet for most of the year. Fortunately for me, that was during the Olympics so my old friend television once again resumed its post at the top of my entertainment list.

I still had a social life, studying with friends at the library whilst scouting for hotties from other schools.

However, some folks regarded my situation a lot more dire than I did.

The bottom level of the state library of New South Wales was quiet, there were whispers in various sections of the almost cavern-like space, but all in all it was silent, and an ideal place for a group of HSC students to hit the books. Seventeen year old Isaac was one such student as he poured over essays he had prepared earlier, doing his best to memorise them so that when the day came, he would be able to write it off the top of his head. Key points, specific quotes, dates swam through his head as his pen worked at warp speed across some notebook paper he had torn out of his exercise book.

Satisfied with his output, he leaned back on the old wooden chair that had been sat upon by a myriad of students before him and he surveyed the sights. A group of his friends continued to read and write around him silently, a few of them shooting looks at him that seemed to scream: “Keep studying foo’!”

Instead, he started talking and soon after he started no one was still studying. He told his friends about how difficult it was to not have the internet

Isaac: It’s tough but oh well, at least the Olympics are on

D: Oh my god, I can’t imagine that. No MSN, no Facebook. That is sooooo antisocial.

Isaac:….what?

Until next time folks! Stay classy!

Hit the light switch, left me in the dark

WHAT’S UP YO PARTY PEOPLE?

(Editor’s note: Due to the fact that Isaac has requested a break from the rigours of posting on Part Boast, Part Confession, he has recruited a fellow blogger by the name of Roxy to guest post, enjoy!)

“So what kind of person is your ideal guy?”

R: Well he has to be at least 180cm tall… share my sense humour and –

J: HAHAHAHA looks like you’re going to be lonely for the rest of your life then!

And that’s how much faith my friends have in me… and my sense of humour, which they claim to be lame. (Editor’s note: They actually do have a point…) But it’s alright – I can definitely find someone like that. And when I do, I’ll be expecting a standing ovation.

So just sit back and watch, cuz this challenge ain’t got nothing on me!

Brushing it off Obama style

Anywho, on to this new one:

Overslept ‘10

19 year old Roxy woke up for the third time that morning. Feeling slightly dizzy, she reached for the phone to check the time, letting out a sigh of relief to discover it wasn’t even 9AM yet. Stuff she learnt the night before rushed into her mind as the feeling of dread dawned upon her. Another exam today…

Abruptly she jumped out of bed as the time on her phone read 9:40. She had fallen asleep without intending to, and the train was in 15 minutes. There was no way she could make it to the station within that amount of time as it usually takes her 20 minutes just to walk there. The next train was 30 minutes later, which meant arriving uni at least half an hour later than she was supposed to. By that time the test would have already finished.

Trying to be cool headed and rational, she paced around her room dialling her friends who lived near her area, asking if they were available to drive to her place and then drive to the station. Finally, her friend came and picked her up. Down the road from the station, they reached a red light with a slow L-plater in front of them. Panic started to creep upon her as she continuously checked her phone, counting down the minutes while craning forward to see whether the train has arrived at the station yet.

R: Umm… do you think we can make it in like, a minute?

M: Oh shit… well we should be able to I guess.

And they made it just in time, as Roxy jumped out of the car and sprinted up the ramp and down the stairs to platform 1.

She marvelled at her luck as she hopped onto the train, bringing back the events of last year’s QMB exam (Editor’s note: please refer to THIS), deeply thankful to the friend who drove her.

It wasn’t until she nearly got to central that she realised: “Fuckkkkk, I forgot to bring my exam booklet.”

Until next time folks! Stay classy yo!

P.S: LAWLLL zomg so hard trying to mimic Isaac’s arrogance and wit, ha too bad my memory had nothing to do with me being a hero/pwning others as I am the noob who overslept… HAHA -_-

They say real girls ain’t perfect, perfect girls ain’t real

What’s up party people?

“K: But it’s over now right?

Isaac: Yeah, it’s over. That felt good, ask me again!

K: Haha, but it’s over now right?

Isaac: It’s oooooover.”

I can’t believe I have to continue beating on this dead horse, but I have to reiterate this. Please take the following into account, open your brain tank wide open and prepare for some premium knowledge, I do not want to talk about my female situation. Period. Do not ask me any of the following questions the next time you see me in person:

“So, how are the ladies?”

“Do you have a girlfriend?”

“How’s the romantic life?”

“Who are you juggling these days?”

“Do you like little pink nipples? Or those big brown malteser ones?

Any incarnation of those questions will simply net you one of my trademark glares followed by a prolonged silence. You know I’m usually pretty open about the sets of boobs I’m pining after, but due to the fact that I am currently enjoying a state of tabula rasa, please do not inundate me with questions about girls. I’m pleading with you, of course my 23% gets a free pass, but that’s it.

Shout out to the Obamas

Other than being frustrated by the constant questions about my lack of romantic life, I’ve been really good as of late. Even if I’ve had to go all Superhuman for spurts to conquer my assessments, the sheer effort hasn’t affected my mood. I’ve been pretty jovial and expect to cap this year off solidly and pleasantly.

Anywho, on to the next one

Chips ’00

As a kid, I really didn’t go out much. Other than the occasional trip to the library, after school I’d head to my friend’s shop, purchase a can of soft drink and then walk home and proceed to watch TV until bedtime. When weekends came, I’d walk to maybe McDonalds, maybe wander around the shopping centre for a bit, but if you were looking for me, the house would be the safest bet.

Didn’t mean I was completely antisocial though, friends would often come over to play video games and we’d just chill out, being kids.

This should not have been one of those times.

A sea of red and grey as the children of Campsie Public School enjoyed their lunch time. Shouts of joy bounced around the playground, echoing through every corner, penetrating the ear drums of every individual in the vicinity, including those of nine year old Isaac who was munching on a Nutella Sandwich. He gave away everything else in his lunchbox, knowing that he would be having a big dinner that night; for it was his sister’s birthday, and his family treated birthdays as huge causes of celebration.

G: Hey man, what are you doing tonight?

Isaac: It’s my sister’s birthday, big family dinner

G: Er…can me & E*** come?

Isaac: Dude, it’s a family dinner

G: But we want to play Tekken

Isaac: No man, not unless you buy a hundred pack of chips, you guys can’t come

****

Platters of food were being carried out from the kitchen as Isaac watched hungrily. His stomach grumbled angrily, frustrated at the lack of food Isaac had provided it, but Isaac patted his tummy, food would be arriving soon. The doorbell rang and Isaac headed to the front door, preparing to say hello to a couple more family members.

His two friends stood outside, smiling widely

G: We bought chips!

His two friends both held up a small bag of Cheetos, fully expecting Isaac to open the door and let them in.

Until next time folks! Stay classy!

Let’s have a toast to the douchebags

What’s up party people?

Even though the subject in itself was such a bitch (Editor’s note: A big fat one that reeked of a bad Indian restaurant), I actually do enjoy the study of statistics, more specifically basketball statistics. I am well aware that statistical prowess ultimately does not prove to be conclusive when judging the greatness of a team or a player, but they do help sway the argument in your favour, especially if it’s something obscure like PER (Player efficiency rating) or win shares as opposed to something simple like points per game.

Anywho, I’m not going to talk about basketball statistics today. I thought that instead of boring you with my current emotional state (Editor’s note: He’s fine by the way), I’d instead just hit you with a few numbers instead.

Ready? Break:

Four thousand two hundred and eighty nine: Photos I’ve taken on my camera and saved as of 23/09/10 this year

Four Hundred and Thirty One: All the pokemon I’ve caught to date. Awaiting the release of Black and White version

Two Hundred and Twenty: Hours spent playing Pokemon Soul Silver

One hundred and fifty five: Motivational posters I’ve posted on Facebook

Thirty two: Movies I’ve seen in their entirety since I’ve started working at the Ritz

Twenty one: The number of times I’ve used the name Michael Jordan in my blog entries this year

Nineteen: The amount of candles that should have been on my birthday cake

<Twelve: The number of times I have said D** since the implementation of my new year’s resolution

Ten: The amount of V’s I’ve consumed so far this week

Six: Flats/apartments/houses/semis/townhouses I’ve inspected recently

Five: The number of months baby Jordan would have been in my life in six days

Two: Number of girls I’ve been linked to this past calendar year

Two: Number of times I have worn one of my Michael Jordan jerseys for non-basketball purposes

One: What I’m looking for

Copy that

Anywho, on to the next one:

The Realisation ’05

Life is a really long class, we’re constantly learning, taking notes and making adjustments for our big assessments; the assessments being the big moments that we all encounter sooner or later. We have a variety of teachers, some direct and many more indirect.

I learn a lot more by example than by pep talks, I’ve had a few decent ones throughout my life, and the following is one that resonates with me to this day. And it might seem familiar to regular readers due to the fact that I have quoted it before.

From a distance, the five figures making their way forward would’ve been intimidating. Upon further inspection, it was merely a group of children, fourteen year old Isaac walked by the side of his eldest cousin who was eight years his elder. They spoke about video games, and in a way, Isaac was keeping his adult cousin young in spirit.

His cousin then decided to steer the conversation in another direction.

Cousin: So, has your sister had the talk with you?

Isaac: What talk?

Cousin: About girls and stuff

Isaac: Yeah, she tells me everything

Cousin: Well, it’s a load of sh*t.

Isaac was confused, here was his cousin saying that what his sister had told him was nothing but useless.

Isaac: What do you mean?

Cousin: Let me rephrase that. She’s being honest, but she’s a girl, every villain in her story is who you’ll be, who I’ve been, you know what I mean? When you’re telling a story, it’s hard to admit where you went wrong, it’s a lot easier to blame the other person.

Until next time folks! Stay classy!

Should I be happy for you?

What’s up party people?

“So what are you going to do?

I don’t know. Maybe I’ll go find a new girl to walk over me, or maybe, find a girl to be cold to me.”

Just completed one of the last of my midsemester exams and I must say I am quite pleased at how I did. Obviously I won’t know for sure until the grades are released, but I am quietly confident that I once again continued my rainbow streak, as in pass with flying colours.

Not meaning to brag (Editor’s note: Oh boy, smug alert, SMUG ALERT) but my incredibly dull tutor warned us that it would be incredibly difficult for people who didn’t regularly attend lectures and/or do the readings, a criteria I fit into quite comfortably. The fact that I did even moderately well is akin to Michael Jordan coming out of retirement right now and scoring fifty, doesn’t matter how long I’m away from the game, my fundamentals are still there.

Ol' Mickey & I have something in common

Speaking of the exam, I was quite surprised to see that talent that had gathered in ol’ Webster, fresh faces that I had never seen before and it was awesome to know that Hot Chick Wednesday isn’t completely buried, and if it is, it’s a rather shallow grave.

Gotta have hope boys, gotta have hope.

Anywho, on to the next one:

I’m Glad ’09

I have never been bitter about girls I’ve been previously linked to. Mostly due to the fact that when I let go, I really let go and emotionally detach myself from the girl in question. I guess another reason is also that the majority of them go from being romantic targets to friends.

There have been some exceptions though, some that even though I let go of..well, here’s the story.

The line for the buses to Central were long, it was peak hour and an extremely weary eighteen year old Isaac trudged along with the pack of people he had somehow become stuck in the middle of to join the ever growing queue.

Though he was tired, his spirits were high as he chatted along with his friends about the random nature of life that most teenagers enjoyed speaking about.

***

Eventually the group split up once they hit the City and Isaac peeled off with one of his bros. A desire for steak had consumed the two males and they made their way towards Star Bar. The bus chatter continued, and Isaac’s friend finally decided to tell him

P: Hey man, do you still talk to ****?

Isaac: Nah man, cut her out, its for the best

P: Oh ok, apparently she has a boyfriend now

Isaac didn’t respond verbally, he nodded curtly to his friend as they continued the ascent up George Street. Though his face didn’t show it, his mind was in overdrive, an odd pang occurred within him. He wasn’t sure what emotion was feeling, but it was definitely something.

Underneath his breath, in a voice that oozed of sincerity, that many believed Isaac had lost over the years, he said two single words

“I’m glad.”

And just like that, his mind once again conjured up images of steak, fries and the various sauces he could enjoy.

Until next time folks! Stay classy!

If I fall short, if I dont make the grade

What’s up party people?

“Thirteen year old Isaac: Relax, I’ll perform when the lights are on.”

It’s a big day folks, today’s a day where I have to conjure up some Isaacesque magic and produce a beautiful essay on human rights violations involving honour killings that will net me another high distinction. It’s pretty much a fact that I CAN do it, but whether I will do it is the real question. I have already exceeded the word count of my burgeoning essay just by typing my blog’s introduction. To say that my essay is a work in progress is simply flattery as the crux of the essay is still being formulated in my head, extremely slowly I might add.

Don’t mistake this as complaining or whining though, I’m just letting y’all live vicariously through me as I prepare to write another masterpiece (Editor’s note: Another? You’ve been writing crap all semester).

(Editor’s note: Done and dusted as of right now, good job kid, you’re still writing like sh*t though)

Ok, I feel a lot better now

I opened this post with something I said as an eighth grader because I felt it help set the tone, but what I really wanted to open with was this incredible exchange I found myself in the middle of last night.

M: Oh man, I had too much pizza. Ladies, I’m sorry I can’t suck in my gut anymore, Isaac let go with me!

Isaac: But I’m not sucking in.

M: WTF? You had more pizza than I did!

Treadmill buddy, treadmill.

Anywho, on to the next one:

The Party ’10

This girl was once told me she didn’t realise she was single until her ex-boyfriend set his status to “single” on Facebook. They had the break up conversation, she cried, he cried, but it didn’t all dawn on her ’til her former flame published it for his social network to see. It’s a funny human condition, I’ve experience it myself, I’d realise something and then have it full sink in whilst I’m relaying it to someone else.

Lately, I’ve been writing about a certain saga being over. I know its over, I’ve already told some people its over. However, this situation is a little bit like Oil, it always stays at the top, and the spillage over this past year has been like BP times infinity plus hormones.

But once again, I would like to say that its over.

The party was starting to die down, several guests had already left, some more discreetly than say nineteen year old Isaac Lai, the young Ritz ninja was still bidding farewell to his friends scattered around the bar area of his beloved workplace. He waved farewell to his mother as she set off to see what some people were calling the worst movie to ever see the light of day, he gave several manshakes, exchanged an epic hi five.

He reached a girl he cared for very deeply at the Ritz, though he never showed it. They looked at each other, the half smiles suddenly become nice and full as they exchanged a hug.

Isaac: Bye slut

L: Bye… I never see you anymore

Isaac: I know right? We haven’t even bitched about you know who in ages

L: Do we need to? Is she still in the picture.

Isaac drew away, his mind racing, his heart beating rather normally, no palpitations, no sudden increase in pace.

Isaac: No, she’s not. Cropped out in fact.

The girl smiled and Isaac gave one last sweeping wave as he walked away.

Until next time folks! Stay classy!